by Robin Gurwitch, The Conversation

Credit: Unsplash/CC0 Public Domain

Violent photos and videos—whether from conflicts abroad or shootings near home—are commonplace, even ubiquitous, on television and social media today. The impact on children can be debilitating.

SciLine interviewed Dr. Robin Gurwitch, a psychologist and professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical Center, who discussed how these images and stories affect a child's mental and emotional health; how the conversation about war and violence differs with young children, tweens and teens; and how to recognize signs that children are struggling with recent events.

Below are some highlights from the discussion. Answers have been edited for brevity and clarity.

How do images and stories about war and violence affect children's mental and emotional health?

The very short answer is, it's not good. These events take a toll on our youth. We know from much academic work in this area that we see an increase in anxiety, in worries, in fears, in depression and, sometimes, an increase in anger. We see an increased sense of hopelessness, and then, at the extreme, an increase in risk for suicide.

How should parents prepare for a conversation with their children about hate and hate crimes, war and violence?

Before we even begin to talk to our children, as adults we have to put in place our thoughts and feelings. What are the values and beliefs that we hold in the face of these types of events? Talk to friends and other trusted relatives to make sure that you have a handle on your emotions.

What specific advice do you have for talking to very young children—and to older children?

With really young children, under preschool age and younger, they probably don't know and won't understand what's going on. Yet they can sense your distress. So making sure you keep their routines as consistent as possible will be helpful.

When we start talking about school-age children—assume they know. They've heard about it on the school bus. They've heard about it from friends. They've seen it on TV when they've walked through the living room.

With them, I think you start the conversation saying, "There's been …" And then fill in the event you're going to talk about. "There's been a shooting in Maine." "There's been a hurricane in Mexico." "There's been a terrorist attack in Israel and now there's a war, and that's really hard, but I want to talk to you about it. Tell me what you've heard about it."

Allow them to have that ability to tell you what they've heard. Listen for and gently correct misinformation, rumors and misinterpretations. And then follow that up with, "How is that making you feel?" As they share their feelings with you, accept those rather than try to talk them out of them. It doesn't work for adults, and it won't work for children.

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