by Sandra Knispel, University of Rochester

The secret life of the american teenager: As most parents know—and as prior research shows—when children become teenagers, their willingness to share information and keep parents in the loop often declines, while secrecy increases. A new Rochester study explores the narratives behind the choices teens make to tell the whole truth or keep a secret. Credit: University of Rochester / Julia Joshpe

It's a truth universally acknowledged that most teenagers, at one time or another, will hide information from their parents. Some will lie outright.

Yet, when they do lie—do they plan to fib ahead of time? What about when they share information–do they do so voluntarily? And do they employ the same (mis)information strategies every time when they do something, or plan on doing something that they know their parents won't be happy about?

Of course, lying is not exclusive to adolescents. "Most people lie. Often more than once a day," clarifies Judith Smetana, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester.

But while we all regularly engage in social lies—"cute dress"; "I like the new haircut"; "sorry, we have a prior engagement"—teens also often lie about their routine activities, such as where they were, with whom, and what they were doing.

Timing is (nearly) everything

In a study, published in the Journal of Adolescence, Smetana and two University of Rochester psychology graduate students, Sduduzo Mncwabe and Yuejiao Li, explored the narratives of 131 teenagers and college students who had been interviewed about a time when they did something that their parents disagreed with or had expressly forbidden.

Study participants were asked about each of these three scenarios: a time when they subsequently disclosed (part or all of it), concealed, or lied about an activity that their parents disapproved of.

The team coded the narrated interviews for voluntariness, timing, consistency, and lessons learned. Part of the research addressed the frequent assumption that disclosure is voluntary, i.e. that teens who tell part or the whole truth do so on their own volition. "But that's not always the case, which is what we suspected and, indeed, found," says Smetana.

As most parents know—and which has been shown in prior research—as children become teenagers, their willingness to share information and keep parents in the loop declines, while secrecy increases.

"Partly, that's about autonomy development, and teens doing what they want to do, even if it involves risky behavior," says Smetana.

"It's significant," that only 40% of study participants disclosed the salient information of their own volition—"far less" than what had been commonly assumed, says Smetana. Credit: University of Rochester illustration / Julia Joshpe

Key findings

Teenagers disclose information to their parents primarily voluntarily (40%), or strategically (47%)—either as a means to an end, such as telling the truth about a party to which they may need a ride, or preemptively because they suspect their parents will find out anyway.

"It's significant," that only 40% of study participants disclosed the salient information of their own volition—"far less" than what had been commonly assumed, says Smetana.

Involuntary truth telling or involuntary disclosing, the team found, is much less frequent (13%), and could involve a friend's spilling the beans accidentally, a teen's getting a tattoo that is eventually seen by parents, or by getting pressured by parents to tell.

Timing plays a crucial role: adolescents were more likely to lie (53%) before the event or action that their parents would not condone. However, telling the truth or disclosing the information occurred more often after they had already engaged in the parentally disapproved activity (35% disclosed the dodgy activity shortly afterwards, 8% lied for an extended time before coming clean, and 23% told the truth at some unspecified time).

Unsurprisingly (to any parent of teenagers), the teens in the study proved nimble in their approaches: they typically reported additional strategies besides the ones the researchers were specifically asking about, using multiple strategies around the same event.

"Disclosure may not be the first thing they do. Maybe they tried to get away with it without telling their parents. Or maybe they concealed first, and then they disclosed. It's really shades of gray—usually not black and white," says Smetana.

More information: Judith G. Smetana et al, Voluntariness, timing, and consistency in adolescent routine disclosure and lying to parents, Journal of Adolescence (2023). DOI: 10.1002/jad.12265

Provided by University of Rochester